It Is Very Fragile. We Must Be Careful With It.

 

The issue of gay clerics in the church fits perfectly into the wider "Post Truth" duplicity we experience in the world. No clique is exclusive but generally speaking you have those who think the church needs to listen to and respond to the "Sensus Fidei" of contemporary gay priests and religious, many who will be praying and encouraging change from an irregular status.

Those within or ad limina may quietly stand with the above or see a gay expression as part of the perfection process that may pass and become a chaste expression. This may lead them, in their roles as formators, tending to God's flower bed, rather than to just boot someone out and discard them, assist them to find their place to bloom as lay people if it is discerned that priesthood / religious life is not the vineyard / flowerbed for them.

Most holding the above positions will be holding forth in an authentic, honest, truthful and transparent way leaving themselves wide open to attack by the third group.

Those who hold forth in the public arena claiming adherence to "Traditional Church Teaching" but in private carry on like they were propping up the bar in a gay pub. They have many supporters who only witness the pious sermons and zealous youth will rally to them and some will seek to retreat in their religious houses and even join as postulants / novices. Those young people will be totally wrong footed when they experience the behind the scenes. Hopefully they run for the hills not knowing whether to mention anything to those outside or make a complaint to church hierarchy. Perhaps they do and are satisfied with assurances that the matter is being dealt with or perhaps they become alienated from peers and even parents who refuse to believe them. Perhaps they bury it for 10,20, 30 years...who knows... maybe the harms express in failure to launch, drug or alcohol abuse. Whether these clerics joke within an inner core of fellows about this great game I don't know. I suspect not. I think this ruse exists and has existed for a long time precisely because the official / public mouth says one thing and defends it to the hilt while the private body does the complete opposite. It's a total mind (You fill in the gap!) for anyone truthful and conscientious. Others will learn quickly, perhaps turning initial pain and disillusionment into opportunity and a niche for themselves.... and so a new generation!

As I said at the start. No clique is exclusive. There will be those of a traditionalist mind who will approach gay manifestation as potentially a process of perfection and not necessarily an instant reason to direct someone toward a lay path, but I think so fearful are they of the duplicitous kind misrepresenting them, that they do not enter the public arena with their message of mercy and pastoral care. Sadly this heightens the chance of youth inspired to try and live a chaste life, ending up in the hands of the "Mental Reservation!" 

My original thought for titling this blogpost was "Clear As Mud!" which it is.

Then, "The Light Shines In The Darkness" Deo Gratias!

But I thought of that scene in The Thorn Birds where the rose falls out of Ralphs brieviary and wished that I had been formed and assisted by those described in the second example who, if those described in the third get their way, will be hung out to dry and scapegoated as the gay problem within the church whereas in my opinion it is They! 

The inspiration for this blogpost, if you can call it that, was discovering this article from May regarding the Abbey, Christ In The Desert and the comments that ensued.

 

 

 

 

Bishop Pat Buckley RIP

 

Independent Bishop Pat Buckley, contraversial campaigner against church corruption has died.

Following disagreements with Cardinal Cahal Daly, Buckley was assigned to Kilkeel parish in 1983.[9] Buckley claimed that Cardinal Daly later offered to move him to an Australian parish before deciding to assign him to Larne, a mainly Protestant town, in 1984.[7] Daly then suspended Buckley from the priesthood in 1986.[9] Buckley continued to attract attention and clashed with Daly in public. When told his service in the diocese was no longer needed, Buckley refused to move out of the parochial home. In 2011 he brought a legal case against the Diocese of Down and Connor claiming Squatters' Rights. In January 2012, an agreement was reached between the parties which allowed Buckley to remain in the property.[10] 

I first became aware of +Pat when trawling through the internet trying to find other articles that would lead me to others with experience of Cuthbert's abusive behaviour.

I commented a reply on +Pat's blog and he made almost immediate contact. 

The result was, a week before the original blogpost here, this post appeared on +Pat's blog "Thinking Catholicism"

Some of us were initially more enthusiastic than others about seeing this as the beginning of the end to Cuthbert's misrule but as time went by it became painfully clear that generations of complainants have risen in protest and fallen through the attrition of indifference. 

Sad to say that it felt too that +Pat was becoming indifferent. 

I'm sure +Pat must have been in receipt of much information accurate and deceptive that left him unsure about me / us.

Perhaps to make it worse there were a few failed attempts at "Being Church" together. 

The thought of possibly being Ordained coupled with knowing Pat and his friends less than I dare to say I feel I do now, against the contorted stressed and neurosis of my state left me sometimes both attracted and reticent.... I can only say that were I living locally and had met +Pat and his friends without the inevitable baggage, hopes and fears and over invested life long looking for a hero to worship and "Save" me.... (To paraphrase the song "You Gotta Search For The Hero Inside Yourself!") I like to think we would have been friends.

It is sad to see both his blogs, the result of doubtless many hours of work, tears shed alone and with victim / survivors being removed from the internet.

 Thankfully there are archives like The Way Back Machine

Here are two newspaper articles that help us to get a glimpse of the real Pat Buckley.

1. Belfast Telegraph

2. Belfast Live 

In the second Pat refers to his legacy in which he hopes people will continue his campaigning and offering a listening ear to victim / survivors and those in trouble.

In my small attempt to that end, here is a link to a facebook group that to my complete amazement has really taken off and we're honoured and priveliged  to share in peoples lives, their spiritual lives and their struggles, bearing each others burdens in mutual support. We'd welcome you to join us!

 

 Saints of God, come to his aid!
Hasten to meet him, angels of the Lord!

May Christ, who called you, take you to Himself;
may angels lead you to the bosom of Abraham!

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon him!

May He Rest In Peace.

Amen!

Bishop Patrick Buckley

1952 - 2024

 

 

Something Of The Knight!

 

To paraphrase one of our fellow Farnborough Concerned....."At Least They Never Fail To Meet Our Expectations!"

No, that would take probity and humility!

Speaking of humility it appears Abbot Cuthbert has acquired, at some not inconsiderable expense, that most essential accoutrement for an Abbot, namely a "Coat Of Arms" and personal Crest!

A cleric from the USA has blogged about it and how, apparently, after much encouragement Abbot Cuthbert started the application four years ago after becoming Abbot Visitor of The English Province, Subiaco - Cassinese Congregation OSB.

At that time he also became a Trustee of the ST MARY'S PRIORY FERNHAM RESIDUAL FUND and I note that Cuthbert is now the longest serving trustee! (Fancy that! - You'll love the income / expenditure details!)

Anyway...You can check out the "Coat" and Abbot Cuthbert's explanation of the symbols via the blog mentioned....meanwhile our own Heraldic enthusiasts have been busy considering this rather dissonant account and have instead come up with a more fitting design explained thus: 

The lightening is ubiquitous and is the judgement Of Heaven with St Michael in the vanguard.

Cuthbert may believe that his house stands firm, that it is built on Rock, but it is not. It is built on the shifting sands of his arbitrary, capricious, psychopathic narcissism. With the company of heaven from above and the Immensi Tremor Oceani from below, it's collapse is certain!

We may discern God's blessing in this for like an addict, sometimes it is only by reaching rock bottom and losing everything, can a person then see their folly and begin rebuilding their life and relationships on firmer foundations.

What can we do to work God's work ?

Besides prayer, have nothing to do with the place. Do not support it with your alms or business....and most, please, please most.... warn anyone thinking of joining what has happened to so many others before.

To sum it up pictorally we have come up with an alternative crest for Abbot Cuthbert which we feel needs no explanation....

 

 

We think the word is getting out!

And so to finish with a song!

To the tune of the Dad's Army theme!

 

"Who do you think you are kidding Abbot Cuthbert,

If you think you're on a home run?

The Poles and the Slovaks have clocked your little game.

You're moving on to Africa to do the blinkin same!

So who do you think you are kidding Abbot Cuthbert?

You of the repute infame!"

 

 

Changing Habits Part 3. Back For Good?

 Changing Habits Part 2. Back Out Of The Habit!

I seriously doubt the over inflated ego's of either Abbot Cuthbert Brogan and Dom Gregory Carey (Ex Fr Dominic Carey S.S.J.) could abide with each other for long in such a relatively small monastery as Farnborough Abbey!

I suspect one or other does not expect to be there full time and most likely it will be Carey off for "Further Studies" though I suppose it not impossible Cuthbert might be the next Abbot President or even up for a Bishopric!

So after much bemusement here it is!

 

 

Much has been written and linked here and elsewhere about Carey and The Society Of St. John S.S.J. but here are highlights (or should that be lowlights!) of why Carey should not be Solemnly Professed at F'bro or anywhere but should be laicized!

 

Sister Act!

 

 Now you might say that the above photo is just a little fun among peers and certainly not indicative of a greater malaise. That might be true with different people and in different places but below is why I think "Great Malaise" is precisely what it indicates! (In addition to all the SSJ stuff!)

Three novices left in 2019 and made contact citing their great distress finding the Monastery pervaded by a Homosexual atmosphere. Not just that but the Abbot's guests often contributed to the atmosphere and to further the distress, the Abbot would be overly "Tactile" with the younger and toned Monks, even kissing their hair! (Personally, I think the victims might have successfully brought a case for Sexual Harassment!) 

 

And he is about to profess Stability?

Whilst the term "Gyrovague" is less of an exact fit these days, I was left with a strong impression during my time at F'bro that in the process of discerning a Vocation any Community should be particularly cautious where a candidate brought with them a track record of many failed attempts - and if that alone should be reason for caution then surely having been a founding member of a Religious Society that was mired in corruption and eventually suppressed should trigger a whole array of RED LIGHTS! It leads you to consider that the resolving of Canonical irregularity as certified above, was not a matter of conscience but of a far lower expediency!

Coupled with the interruption in his formation for him to be a Diocesan in Peru....this makes a mockery of any discernment practice!

 

 Mac The Knife!

"And the shark, it has teeth, And it wears them in the face. And Macheath, he has a knife, But the knife can't be seen...."

Only himself and those directly involved know quite how deep this allusion goes but I think for the most part Carey is behind the scenes, more sleight of hand Magician and whether with direct knowledge or in "Who Will Rid Me Of This Turbulent Priest" fashion, leaves the muscle, in this I'm thinking of activities like "Shunning," but exactly like the Becket analogy....things might get out of hand....or worse... and consequences cannot always be foreseen.....but would he care?

 

Could this be the reason for Carey's continuing Clerical career?

"Bishop Joseph Martino – “suppressed” or disbanded the society.

Even though the society and its members were responsible to Martino, Carey and the others refused to meet with him or provide him with financial statements for the $6 million Carey had raised and the $8.6 million the society had spent.

 

Oh, and he's about to profess Obedience? 

A Wilde Pastiche

 

If You Tell A Lie Long Enough It Becomes The Truth.

My response to LCSB Abbot Cuthbert podcast.

I listened for about ten minutes before becoming "Triggered!!!" (and I'm not listening again for accuracy or chronology in this response, so from memory...)

 Ironic considering that was the excuse LCSB safeguarding used for taking down my comment on their facebook that relating in the briefest of terms my unfortunate experience of said Abbot when we were in formation, might be triggering to others!

 I wonder if they will now remove the podcast? I hope not. Being "Triggered" is a cross I am happy to bear if it saves anyone becoming a victim of the institutional church. So.....

Here he goes again talking about being 18! He was 20 when he joined F'bro and had already been to university.

 I remember talk of Ushaw, but not Carmelites. I don't recall he went to Quarr while "Nibbling" He may have started at Minsteracres but was studying Classics, I believe in Liverpool University and living in a Passionist Monastery in St Helens. Word is, he was kicked out for innapropriate behaviour and so I assume was indeed looking for a "Better Fit" Yes, he is a Benedictine! In the worst sense!!! To say he liked the family feel of F'bro made me want to cry! Yes I now realise F'bro was not the Idyll I imagined...ever...but I nurture that imagining as inspiration, what F'bro should have been...and could have been....and maybe still can be? But F'bro was to get alot worse, for it was fairly relaxed and warm, though flawed, made up of sinners, like us all of course, but lacking the "Good Men" of Fr Magnus imaginings and memory ....so what Cuthbert saw was not a warm family to fit in but a vulnerable community ripe for manipulation and usurpation...which is what he has done, destroyed what was good and built it as a shrine to his vanity and opportunity to his whim and destroyed vocations and damaged Souls along the way!

 Perhaps that is not entirely fair. Perhaps he did see a warm and friendly family but through nature and nurture was unable to react other than from the fear perspective and therefore was pressed by a strong sub conscious drive to control it and possess it. Thing is, love cannot exist in that paradigm, it has to be given with one hand and received with the other. If you try and cling on to it and control it's outcome, it atrophies and dies. I believe this is what has happened with Cuthbert and the Communities (Prior, Novice Master, Chapter, Congregation) failure to exercise the surgeons knife, resulted in the poison affecting and destroying the original Community (Though admittedly there were tensions extant, but to what extent these were a part of Cuthberts machinations I can only think that they certainly didn't help build bridges! If the Community imploded, he might hope to benefit but others might know more for certain?) and every iteration of Community since. His frustrations are revealed in his bullying and unkindness and he takes comfort, not in healthy relationships, but in the perpetual fancies and fantasies of a teenager and he inflicts much damage upon those who genuinely love(d) him. (Mea Culpa at this point in that I recognise my sexuality is stunted or most likely will always be at this point too, but I pray I have the insight to avoid hurting others with promises or demonstrations that I cannot sustain or fulfil)

I remember that boy with the deep brown eyes, who waxed lyrical his love for the Monastic life juxtaposed with the sudden change to a bar propping bitchy old queen, and again to someone who could be deeply hurtful and have no realization that they had been, or not care...or not appear to care?

Will the real David Cuthbert Brogan please stand up?

To some extent we are all a mixture of vying personalities but if we do not become the Charioteer in control of the team, we cause mayhem, personally and to others. 

The church affords Cuthbert a half life. A life of superficiality.

It can only become real if he would acknowledge or takes steps through psychotherapy / Counselling to gain insight into how he hurts himself and how he hurts others.

Stepping into his authentic true nature would, as it does for everyone from Jesus Christ to Ourselves, involve swimming against the worldly tide, perhaps at great worldly cost. But it is the journey of the true human soul, it is the journey of perfection, it is the revelation that god became man that man might become God.

I pray we may merrily meet again in Heaven...in this world or the next!

 

 

The Lay Community of Saint Benedict

 

The Lay Community Of St Benedict recently interviewed Abbot Cuthbert Brogan for their series of podcasts

 It came to my notice on their facebook page and I commented thus:

 If this is difficult to read you wont find it on the LCSB facebook page anymore (Try here ) because they have removed it citing that their safeguarding thought it might be "Triggering" to others! Well, I have found alot of comfort in the support of fellow victim /  survivors and in knowing I am not the only one! We are stronger together which is why the perpetrators and their defenders seek to prevent our solidarity...but anyway, you can read below what they said to me and how I responded in our F'bro specific support group.

"Dear Tom

We were sorry to read your post on our Facebook site this morning. We are not in a position to comment, not knowing the circumstances, but we express our sincere human support to you as you struggle with these memories. We also note that the police appear to have been involved and no further action has been taken. Today, as a result of your post, and as quickly as we could get everyone together, we convened a meeting of the Safeguarding Compliance team of the LCSB. We wanted to let you know that we have decided that we are going to take the post down, in order not to cause any further potential hurt to people who read the post and who themselves may be triggered into difficult memories. We have made a record of this exchange in our safeguarding log. If you would like further support, we can recommend the safeguarding helpline of the organisation 31:8 which was created for the protection of people in Christian communities. You may of course be familiar with it already. This is the link https://thirtyoneeight.org.

All best wishes

Peter Agius

Administrator laybenedictines@gmail.com 

(Translation) We don't want to lose our sense of self satisfied sanctimonious entitlement ...or cash flow...by waking others up to the fact that Farnborough (and Worth, where this venture originated and well "worth" avoiding for "The Usual") and most of the OSB and Church institution are con men hiding behind a veneer of similar entitlement and in reality are narcissistic sexually / psychological abusers who have never known a days work whilst poncing off the finances and vulnerabilities of others!!!

 

 Survivor of De La Salles abuse and writer Pat Mills (Whose blog I would heartily recommend to those with eyes to see and ears to hear) says "in my direct experience unholy lay Catholics in the UK are a greater danger to children than even priests."  I note with great concern the origins and connection of this organisation to Worth Abbey and connect that with the experiences of Pat Mills and Farnborough Abbey Choir survivors and extol with great exhortation people to exercise extreme caution in their dealings with LCSB, particularly around placing children and teenagers in their care and to young adults, particularly men, do not give them the  "benefit of the doubt" to anything whatsoever that you know is wrong, If their pat on your back seemed rather low, it's likely deliberate, but you know ideally, there is nothing stopping you and your friends forming your own small group to pray and live according to monastic ideals. You don't need them! Don't fall for the lies and deception of the child catcher!