(Left to right - Yours truly, D. Michael (Fava), D. Cuthbert, Dom Leander, D. Gilbert (Abbot President), D. Richard, D. David (Higham, Prior), D. Br David (Minton), D. Bede, Br Alan - circa 1988)
Well, here we are, four years on and what do we know. Well, like many who have tried before, on the face of it, it looks like we're wasting our time but it's not a waste if it halts or limits self destructive behaviour by naming the abuse and helping others to see it and name it too! We now have a little online community of the Farnborough Abbey disenfranchaised in touch by email or in our facebook groups but we are a fraction of the total number and would very much welcome your company if you have in any way been affected by the hypocrisy that is the "Charade Behind The Facade!"
Some say that with this blog quite prominent in searches regarding F'bro Abbey, that anyone joining deserves or is complicit in whatever they get... that is not my opinion. I am not sure what stories are told by the Abbot and community regarding my / our campaign but we may assume from reading similar attempts to highlight church abuse, that we are called "Mentally Unstable", "Dismissed / Dispensed as Unsuitable", "Church Haters", etc.... Complainants like myself, might well accept that the result of the discernment process might have led to our departure but we all deserved a proper formation process in the holy and chaste atmosphere we believed we were entering and others among us, maybe you, might have become the latest generation, temporal custodians of the eternal promise, borne witness in the Abbey!
So if you are hesitant about getting in touch because you feel foolish or were inclined to speak or think as detractors might, please don't hold back. We are here for You! In some way or other, we have all been in your shoes, so if you would appreciate the opportunity to share your experience with others who know what you're talking about and what you're going through, then do!
Overall, my rose coloured spectacles have rather slipped as I re-assess everything and hear what others have had to say. It's clear that much was wrong with F'bro Abbey long before David Brogan walked in, but that it was a ripe environment for him to exploit seems now obvious. Like many other places there were progressive v traditional tensions as well as "Close" friendships not concordant with the monastic life.... I saw none of this during my early visits, of course. All I experienced was the beautiful music, the beautiful location and the blessed presence of God. This is what I hold on to as my hope for the Abbey's future either as a Benedictine Abbey under new management or some other appropriate usage that spiritually thirsty and weary souls may benefit from, myself included I hope.
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Absolutely.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are spot on about what Cuthbert will be telling people about anyone (the many) who have left.
My own view is that in the days of the internet prospective postulants get an opportunity here to hear the other side of Cuthbert's fantasy. They may still be manipulated of course, but joining a set up which has lost literally dozens of members over a couple of decades wouldn't mean you are more likely to stay!
John Berry
John and I continued our conversation by email and he has given his permission for me to further share his opinion which was also that, almost verbatim, the opinion of Prior (Superior) Magnus Wilson.
ReplyDelete"I think I would put the start of the Fboro train wreck as early as the forties when Prinknash took the best men out to start Pluscarden."
I remember Dom Basil Robinson visiting and it was later related to me that after encountering Dom Cuthbert he turned to Prior (Superior) David Higham and said words to the effect of "You'll have to watch that one!"....